Letting go of Guilt
by xKLGx
Summary: a little one-shot focusing on the friendship of Lucas and Haley as she helps him lay some ghosts to rest. Pure Laley friendship!


**I felt the need to write a little one-shot about Lucas and Haley as I, for one, love the friendship they share! Don't ask me where the idea came from because I have absolutely no idea! Enjoy!**

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The ball pounding across the blacktop and the persistent clinking of the chain net drew attention to the vigorous workout that was taking place on the court. The player was determined and consistent, he never missed a shot. Anyone watching would have thought that he was a pro baller, not the head coach of a high school team. The man watched in satisfaction as the ball once again sunk into the net before racing back up the court to start all over again.

Haley James Scott sighed as she watched her best friend take his frustrations out on the court. He was so engrossed in the game that he didn't hear her approach or see her settle herself upon the bleachers. Haley had had enough. She had been told by Nathan to give him some more time, but she felt as though she had given him enough. No one had been able to reach him all day, not that they expected to. He he'd had time to be alone, now he needed to talk about it.

She watched as Lucas dribbled up the court towards the net and saw him make his perfect free throw. She noticed that he was panting heavily and there was a large sheen of sweat covering his body.

_That can't be good for his heart _she thought, hoping that he hadn't been here all day.

Lucas had finally stopped his game and looked across the river court where he spotted his sister in law. He wasn't that surprised she was here. She always knew where to find him when something was bothering him and she always knew how to deal with it.

He took a deep breath and slowly made his way over to join her on the bleachers. After a moment of gazing at the river, Lucas spoke.

"He would have been 42 today" he whispered, not breaking his stare from the river.

"Yeah, I know" Haley replied softly, following his gaze. She didn't continue the conversation, knowing that Lucas would say his part sooner or later.

"He always hated his birthdays though, hating having all the attention. He liked to take a backseat to everything" Lucas reflected.

This time Haley didn't speak at all, she merely nodded her head at her friend's words. She remembered well, Keith Scott hated being the centre of attention.

"I remember when I was four; me and mom planned this party for him at the cafe. Cake, streamers, balloons, party music, you name it we had it. It was only me and mom there though, we didn't invite anyone else. You should have seen the look of shock on his face" Lucas laughed at the memory "he must have thought me and ma looked a right sight with giant party hats on screaming happy birthday at him. He loved it though, said it was the perfect way to spend his birthday, with the people who meant the most to him."

Lucas smiled sadly. "It was so much simpler back then. No Dan, no hassle. Just me, mom and Keith"

He paused in his speech and Haley took the opportunity to speak.

"It was much simpler back then Luke; it always is when you're a kid. The most important thing you worry about is what toy to play with or what snack you're going to have. You never think about the hardships or tough decisions, that's the beauty of childhood."

There was silence for a moment, only the quiet noise of the river interrupting.

"I wish I could go back to that time. I'd make sure I'd appreciate him so much more, let him know how much I loved him." Lucas stated.

Haley placed her hand on his. "Lucas, Keith knew how much you loved him. And from what I saw when we were growing up, you couldn't have appreciated him any more than you did. You worshipped the ground he walked on" Haley smiled. It became wider when she saw Lucas grin a little.

"He knew that you loved him, just like you knew he loved you. I know that words can't bring him back Luke and I know you miss him desperately ever day, but you have to let go of this guilt that your still carrying around. What happened wasn't your fault. You didn't kill him."

She was shocked by the next words that Lucas uttered.

"I may as well have"

The emotionless tone he used, and his strong belief in his own words shocked Haley to her core.

"Lucas......." she whispered, stunned.

"It's true Haley. I should have gone back into the school when I brought Peyton out. I willingly left him in there when I knew there was a gun involved. I should have gone back in and stopped Dan. It should have been me."

His last words angered the woman beside him.

"Lucas Eugene Scott. How. Dare. You." She spoke in a quiet, but infuriated tone.

He didn't speak; he merely stared at the river. But Haley saw him recoil slightly upon hearing her tone.

"How can you even think that? How can you be so selfish? Do you have any idea how badly it would affect everyone if you died? Do you know how much it would hurt Karen?"

"At least she would still have Keith. And Lily would have her father." Lucas argued as he got up off the bench, turning his back on Haley.

"That may be. But Karen would have lost her son, Nathan and Lily would have lost their brother, I would have lost my best friend, Jamie would have lost his uncle. Do I need to go on?" she shouted angrily.

Lucas didn't reply and kept his back to her. Haley sighed and her voice softened as she observed her friend.

"Lucas. There was nothing you could have done to save Keith. There was no way you would have been able to go back into the school after you brought out Peyton. There was just no way, the police would have stopped you. And you didn't willingly leave Keith there. He chose to be there, he wasn't forced. He did what he thought was right. He.... he was protecting his son."

Upon hearing these words, Lucas felt a wave of built up emotion wash over him. The tears sprang to his eyes and he tried desperately to prevent the sob from escaping from his throat. Haley heard it and it made her heart break. She didn't realise how bad this was still affecting Lucas. Even after their discussion about it when it happened, he had spent the last four years blaming himself.

She moved towards her friend and placed her hands on his shoulders. She gently turned him around and looked into his broken face.

"Oh Luke" she said softly as she pulled him into a hug. He rested his head on her shoulder as she cried with him.

"You have to believe me when I say that what happened wasn't your fault. You didn't pull the trigger. There was nothing you could have done to stop it. You need to let go of this guilt you keep carrying around, otherwise it's going to eat you up and I can bear to let that happen" she cried as she stroked his hair.

"You need to start living your life Luke. Look at all the great things you have done. You've published your novel and are writing your second, you're doing a great job with the ravens. On top of that you're a fantastic uncle to Jamie and have done a wonderful job helping your mom raise Lily. You are always there to support you friends and are always happy to help anyone. Keith would be so proud of you Luke" she whispered softly.

She pulled back to look into his face. "Keith would kick your butt if he could hear you right now" she joked.

It had the desired effect and caused her best friend to let out a watery chuckle.

She placed her hands on either side of his face. "Let go of the guilt Luke. Do it for Keith. He would hate to see you this way."

Lucas nodded and looked down, he felt stupid for worrying Haley and for crying in front of her, but she had seen it all before and he knew she didn't think bad of him for it.

"I'm sorry" he whispered

"You're forgiven. But only if you promise to stop with the guilt and to come and talk to me sooner if you ever feel like this. You need to talk to people more Luke, share how you feel. Even if it is bad. You can't keep holding it all in" she said softly.

"I promise" he nodded.

"Good. Now come on, I'm making chicken fajitas for tea, which I know are your favourite and Jamie has been dying to see his uncle Lucas. He hasn't seen you for ages." She said as she pulled him away from the court, wrapping an arm around his waist. Lucas mirrored her actions and laughed.

"I saw him yesterday"

"Yes, and to a four year old, that's forever. Come on, we can have a birthday drink for Keith"

Lucas smiled as he followed his best friend. He felt calmness wash over him and heard a voice whisper through the trees.

_Let go of the guilt son_

He smiled once more and replied in his head

_Happy Birthday Dad_

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**I know, most of my stories fixate on the relationship between Lucas and Keith, but I love them both so much, and the relationship they shared. To me, Keith will always be Lucas' father. Hope you enjoyed it! Please review and let me know! **


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